im so depressed.
brett and i broke up
he broke up with me
i'm nothing without him
and i feel like this pain isn't going to end.. i feel it in the pit of my stmoach, its not going to ever friggin end. and i trusted him, he told me he would never leave me "i promise you id never leave you" and he did. he lied to me and killed my heart. i honestly feel numb. as cheesy as it sounds " ive become comfortably numb" and im just that.
not so comfortble. more lie "uncomfortably numb"
i need some pain medication, anyone got some
  • Current Music
    fuck you

(no subject)

its 12:19, me and brett promised eachother we would at least sleep in until the PM.. nope. i woke up at 10:30 and went text message crazy while bretts arm was still locked around my chest so i couldn't really move all too much, but th econstant beeps kept waking him up.


yeah.. bummer...

funds are hella tight so it doesnt look like i'll be getting one anytime soon. rediculious. but ohhh well. Me and brett are going to look for jobs this week tooooo. i need a 2nd job at least. i fuckin need to bring in some chedda. speaking of chedda my hot pocket should be done.
About to drive to hannaford to get myself a 2 liter! with "vampire red" manic panic still sitting in my hair. yup!


anyway today is... pa pa pa PENNYWISE NIGGA! yeah you heard me say it. PENNYWISE NIGGA!Image hosted by
flashin the symbol bitch
one of my favorite bands so im FUCKING PUMPED!
its in a crazy place called "saratoga winners" its about 2hrs away. boooooo.
that means there better be a blunt for the ride up. or i'll be one sad panda.

anyway im out of this bitch. let me eat my hot pocket and go to hannaford looking like a mess.
tea tea why el bitches
  • Current Music
    p u n k

looks like get wasted time!

i love having a car . i gotta be honest with you, its the best thing EVER. id go crazy without it.

hanging out with tre today. i'm excited about that strictly because i know we will become closer friends once again doing this, and this weekend is going to be incrediable. i just know it.

speaking of tre i miss georgia. i miss georgia and tre being friends they were l337. speaking of georgia, shes close again. my love.!!

this weekend is going to be full of old times, its gonna have old times written all over it. YAY!
i was going to go to TSX today in kingston but i didn't. i gotta go get gas and hang out with brett for a little bit before we head off to newburgh.
love you all.
  • Current Music
    the o- get wasted time

(no subject)

i deleted my myspace. well, in the process of.. how does one delete a myspace? hmmm. lol. but livejournal here i am again. og lj.
man oh man

im fuckin stoned.
bought a new bong for my birthday.. yesss its nice.. purple.. black spirals around the neck of it.. marble kind of. wanna smoke? give someone a call nigga!

and the family guy movie is on right now which can only mean one thing.
hope the munchies are ready. perogies are being made as we speak. excellentttttt!

i read a slug interview today which was pretty cool. i enjoyed it a lot
new atmosphere is real good, so far so good anyway. didn't quite hear the whole album yet.

bought new pj's today! and pennywise h2o ticketssss bitchess!!!! mwah hahahaha

brett bought new pjs too. oh and i got my ear pierced in the mall, haha.i haven't gotten my ears peirced by someone in over 9 years! all of my holes have been done by me but i gave in and had someone do it.. maybe a litter straighter this time. not quite even but i guess it will work? right?

fuck im hungry. hurry up perogies

im out,



the new bong we got yesterday had to be blessed, so we did just that.
we smoked, i realized i didn't have cigarettes so i figured i just leave the crew here and brett and ic an run and get cigarettes. we did just that. now im stoneeed and we are driving down the street, all of a sudden in the dark sky ( its like 8:30) i see a red fucking balloon ( or what i thought it was) im like " WHAT THE FUCK" and im driving away from it so i can only look in my rearview mirror and i realized it was the moon.
it was huge, red and amazing.....holy shit i sat and looked at it once we parked for a good 10 minutes.. it was HUGEEEEEE if it was in the sky it looked like a good foot.. ( if that makes sense)

ok im out for real
  • Current Music
    silence nayyyga

(no subject)

go to

type in " failure"
and press im feeling lucky

ha.. at least this hurricane opened up a lot of peoples eyes.. it had to happen sooner or later :\
  • Current Music

i have no clothes on

10 things you do during the day that make you happy

1. hanging out with the llamas... twenty llamas 4 life naaayga

2. starting my car, knowing the day just started

3. eyeshadow is definetely a must lol

4. taking a bong rip

5. listening to 311
7. doing my bright blue nail polish

8. watching episodes of weeds

9. looking at slug pictures. fucking goregous

10. laying in bed next to brett knowing i'll wake up beside him tomorrow :o)

i tag, any of you that havent been tagged

i hate my period.

woke up this morning, i hate having my period.
yes, i woke up becuase it decided to happen while i was half asleep.. and half awake.

at bretts house. got into an argument yesterday which i think made his mother not like me again. hopefully she doesn't see me as the devil anymore but who knows. people never understand its human nature to fight, so fuck off?

my whole body is killing me.. i guess i slept wrong.

gathering 2005 was the best.. i didn't even take pics because i was having that much fun.

more to write later. until then.. take care kiddies!
  • Current Music
    *soundscapes* (digital music)

oh man once a fucking gain.

well here i am sitting in bretts house at 12:10. why??! because i have no where to live once again. once again theres homeless heather. now, i always thought it was weird when i got kicked out when i was younger, i thought it was a part of " growing up" or whatever, but when you start losing 10 pounds in 2 weeks because of an empty refrigorater and no help from parents, you start to worry. altho the 10lbs ive lost is excellent. just very unhealthy. on top of that i got a horrible chest cold, ive been coughing up flem for the past 4 days. my job thinks im dead, i haven't talked to them in over 4 days...

me and brett faught on fourth of july. hard. cops were called. by the nosey neighbors. fucking rediculious. i love that kid, we just have a very very loud fight when we do. lol.
that dickhead.

i want to get married. now.

my friend is in a horrible situation... this kid mark likes my boys girl.. its pretty crazy. and i think the girl melissa likes mark as well. tough. what does one do?

( and no thats not me trying to cover it up, fuck no i dont like any other dudes, i ihate guys.. i love womennnn!!!!!) jk. jason mewes refrence.

anyway mindless self indulgence once again tomorrow. effing excellent. although i hate stupid msi fans.. kids 17-under shouldn't be admitted. not fair.

alright i'm out of here, i smell nothing but reefer and only have about a bowl left to smoke, but thats all we have,.. i can't smoke without the brettster can i? helllll no.

my internet sucks because we downloaded an emulater and now i have tons and tons of games!!!

zombies ate my neighbors!!
monster party!!!!! ahhh!!!!

i fucking love the internet. but no pictures are showing up on live journal, not even my "mood" icon is showing up for gloomy.

im out of here kids.
  • Current Music
    mindless self indulgence